The passionate workaholic

There I was staring at the ceiling again. This is getting to be a form of refuge every time I find myself at the crossroads of life. Is it time for another leap?

It all starts with lack of proper sleep, profuse sweating then the inevitable excruciatingly painful joint swelling.  Am I dying from some chronic disease? Not by a long shot it seems.

I go to the chemist. They give me painkillers and advise me that I might be developing some sclerosis. At my age? Seems impossible.  Until I get a recommendation to see a doctor. The advice got ignored.

It got worse.  I became a lion to others. .impossible to deal with. Pain and migraines are so bad at this stage I think im going blind. I can’t stand the light.  I put shades on now..permanently. .

After a few recommendations and unfinished medicals, which proved to be futile, I decided to take my ills to a wise old man. He, being a wise soul, recommended something unheard of in my Zulu upbringing, a homeopath. 

At this juncture I would take even the most severe of injections (a pet hate). I decided to salvage what was left of my energy and googled his location. Skeptical but with nothing to lose I went straight to his location.

Up arrival, in my overalls nogal, I met a nice Indian lady at the reception.  From the word go I could sense an element of distrust. This was expected as for some reason I don’t seem to look trustworthy in general.

Before even sitting, she informed me I might have to wait for an hour for the doctor as he had an appointment at that particular time. The pain was so unbearable I decided it was best to wait.

I had a feeling i’d be sitting there for longer. My fears were confirmed, when I found myself looking at every pain alleviating advert and advice on the magazines provided at the reception. By then I was resigned to waiting even longer if necessary.

A short while later. Out came the doctor with his patient. To my irritation the conversation he had seems to have extended to the reception.  It took another approximate 30 minutes, I think.. Finally I got to meet the doctor..

In his 50s, i presumed. Short, unshaven and soft spoken. He looked like a wise hippy straight from the 60s. I got up from my seat, accompanied by a sharp pain of cracking joints and a stab like pain on my ribs I greet gingerly. After a brief introduction and an apology, a firm handshake was exchanged and was led straight to his healing chambers.

There was an initial element of strangeness about the meeting.  Firstly I had not seen a doctor in  a while. Also I actually wanted to get straight to the point as soon as possible, something I had forgotten how to do.

I started explaining exactly was going on and probable causes. He didn’t seem to mind my shiftiness and expansion. Cool as a fan, he just sat there with his notebook and and pen and just jotted notes.

For some reason I found myself opening more and more to this man than I had ever done in a while to anyone. There was an element of venting in my speech, he didn’t seem to mind at all. All he did was ask a question and I expanded on it like an informant at a police station. He looked intrigued by my story, something I hadn’t experienced in  while.

We talked, a lot. He got into my head very quickly and he found himself in a same level as I was. To a point where he felt comfortable about informing me it was his birthday on that particular day. I was stunned.  I quickly realised how much I had lost communication with other people in general. I was a line ranger.

After the session which lasted about two hours, he gave me some strange mix of medicines that were apparently all natural. He also gave me a pamphlet to read. I was ready for whatever so I took it, along with a gang of tablets.

When I got home I was feeling better already. Amazing.. was the initial thought. .until i read the actual pamphlets. . They blew me away.

For one, he didn’t care about symptoms.  He was all about the rpot cause. This I found impressive.  Secondly, he knew exactly what I was suffering from..stress. . Something I had already known but didn’t realise the extent of damage in my general existence. 

I’m a smoker, something I truly don’t wish upon anyone, which made the matters worse than they could be. I had lost confidence in everything. I was generally an unhappy being, with just about everything in my life at that point.
My life was revolving around my job, which I enjoyed even extremely hostile environment. This, as it occured, was my greatest downfall. I had failed myself as a living being. I actually literally forgot how to live and more importantly, be happy..


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